Fair to middling

We went to the fair for an event last week. I got dolled up in a sundress but as the evening wore on, I think I looked a little less dolled and a little more fair. The dress is Michael Kors from a couple years ago, the shrug is from Torrid. I had on cute sandals, but he missed them in the pics. To him, the funnel cake was the more important accessory.

Farmers Market

 I had to find something warm enough for the chilly morning and shade but cool enough for the sun. Shoes are a $8 buy from a shop here in Salt Lake called Got Beauty during their annual shoe sale.  The entire outfit is from Lane Bryant.

He was in a goofy mood, wanting to take too many photos of me

But we enjoyed the day, the impending fall season and the tomatoes!

 

Greek fest

I got all dolled up for a bridal shower last Saturday morning.

I learned that unlike back home, these are not a fancy affair here. I was the only one in a dress. I didn’t care. I had recently gotten a zipper fixed on a dress I never actually wore. It was a Marshall’s find, about $20 if I remember right. The zipper broke as I was getting dressed, and I kept meaning to get it repaired. I finally had and figured it was time to wear it.

I loved the color, and didn’t want to change before we headed downtown for the annual Greek Festival. Dan thought it had a Greek goddess feel, so I twirled and off we went.

I paired the dress with some yellow peep toe heels and a glass bracelet.

Duckling or swan?

Growing up, I often thought I was the smart one, and my sister was the pretty one. Though my mother said I was pretty too, I didn’t believe it. My sister got the compliments, she had the typical american beauty look: blonde, blue-eyed. She’s a bombshell, I felt more like the second banana. No one made me feel this way, we all just develop with our own insecurities.

I’ve always been overweight. I come from a long line of bigger women, some more comfortable with themselves than others. My mom always made a point to make sure things fit and she taught me that you should not try to stuff yourself into the “thing” just because your friends, the size tinies are wearing it. (I do love my tiny friends, no hate there)

I’ve waffled in terms of my confidence, sometimes having more or less. I have hit a low spot. Perhaps it is frustration with a weight that doesn’t seem to budge, despite lifestyle changes; or just the fact that I have more style than my look belies due to budget and availability.

So, I’m challenging myself. To think outside the box. To get more comfortable with me. To be in FRONT of the camera. To expand my wardrobe and make the outside match how the inside feels.

Maybe I’ll never hit the point when my ugly duckling self becomes a swan. Or maybe, just maybe, I’m there, and I just don’t know it.